I know here in No Performance land our jokes are myeeeeaaa and our content psssshhhheeeaaa, but today we’re bringing you an important lesson in…economiccceeeaaaaa.

I’ve had my “identity” stolen at least 8 times since having a credit card. One time, someone used my credit card number to buy mail-order art and donate to the Canadian Red Cross. Understandable. Well done. Another time two “businesses” in Victorville, CA (it’s on the way to Vegas) racked up $5000 worth of purchases. One was called “Clothing & More” (come on) and the other “Mooring Detail Service” (you’ve seen my car). Now I’ve had enough.

Today I went to GNC to buy some amino acid thing someone told me to get. I looked at my credit card slip and it had my credit card number front and center. I started marking it out with a pen — why would I trust this pockmarked nutritionist porkbelly with my credit card number? And am I really supposed to trust her unhygienic face and disgusting body shape with my nutrition? She starts yelling - YELLING - at me for scratching it out. She wanted to void the ticket and redo the transaction. I LEFT THE AMINO ACID AND WALKED THE FUCK OUT.

Now I know that the majority of stores I visit have figured out a way to keep my number internal to their system - WITHOUT ever printing it on a credit card slip. Last 4 numbers? I’m totally cool with that. But, in this day and age, for the love of legitimacy, figure it the fuck out. Other stores have.

Below I will post full contact information for businesses that refuse to update their credit card systems and remove full credit card numbers from their receipts. I encourage you to scratch off your full credit card number off any receipt. Leave the last four numbers if you’re nice. Send me their contact information and I’ll add them to this list. I deserve privacy. You do too.

GNC
(all stores)
1-888-462-2548
contact electronically

USPS
1-800-275-8777
contact electronically

Bogie’s Liquor
2560 Hyperion Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90027
323.663.2183

I apologize that the execution of this video is pretty ehhhh…., but the idea is there.  Fuck lefties!  NIMBY

Hey, we at NoPerformance love us some real fakey-fakes, especially fake languages.  So, Crehnquist, if you’re out there, you’re one of us.  We’d give you an honorary fake key to the NoPerformance archives, but we don’t care that much.

Saturday night not only draws youths to Silverlake for the Matt Maust + Matt Wignall show at Found Gallery but, also, celebrates Monsieur CRZA’s new abode.  We celebrate in wonky fashion with images of dust, arpeggios of sin, sounds of somethings, mutants of munk.  If you’re reading this and want to know what’s up, send us a message on myspace or something.  I hope you don’t come.  I heard the actual Diane Keaton is coming to dispel myths [all Nordic].  Die.

[’Hooray for non-diagetic sound and extra-cinematic determinants!’]

DJ Robert Horry, pleased to introduce to you the Paline Kael of the NBA, Warrior Baron Davis.  Get Indie.

tonight:

you might see:

Last Saturday night at the World on Wheels monthly roller disco party was a shit showcase. Click here to see photos from Drew [pictured on far right, scathing].

wasn’t the guy on the left in cloverfield?

[we confessed “when we knew” to a camera in a video booth at the queer lounge at sundance — and now we’re on the WOW report]

Watching funny videos makes me funnier.

Watching funny videos makes me funnier.

Watching funny videos makes me funnier.

Watching funny videos makes me funnier.

Watching funny videos makes me funnier.